Punctuation

Writing Tip 101: Single vs. Double Quotation Marks

single vs. double quotation marks - sad dog — Sigh. So much to teach, so little time.

Sometimes, we are so clever we invent grammar rules that don’t actually exit. Then wonderful **insert sarcasm here** sites like YahooAnswers allow readers to vote on correct answers where the winner isn’t necessarily correct just popular. When uninformed Wikipedia writers also jump on the popular-but-not-actually-correct bandwagon, we’re in trouble.

This week, I was asked about the use of single vs. double quotation marks, a question that comes up fairly often and a rule that is often confused. But you know what? This answer is easy—so easy in fact that I can write it in nine words:

Always use double quotes unless inside of another quote.

Cat shocked by colors — The whole point of having commas between adjectives is to make sure meaning is clear, but colors don’t tend to confuse people. Unless you’re this cat. Colors blow him away.

When you have multiple adjectives in front of a noun, you separate them by commas, right? Usually. There are a couple exceptions, and colors are one of them. Do you remember this exception to the rule when you write?

For example:

The adorable white cat is in shock.

His shiny pink pool toy boggles his little kitty mind.

It’s so hard to keep his paws on the hard, wooden floor, when his simple, grammar-loving worldview has just shifted.

Did you catch all of the different uses of commas with adjectives ahead of a noun? For those paying attention, you might have caught that the other exception to the comma rule is size (as in “little kitty mind”).

Commas are captivating, aren’t they? (Oh, there I go making you shake your head again.)

Happy writing, everyone!

Writing Tip 86: Dear Abby: Where to Put Commas with Greetings

Commas, colons, the vocative case… Who knew a simple hello was so complicated?

It’s not actually. How to punctuate a greeting is really quite easy to remember–never mind if your email inbox argues otherwise.

Remember “dear” is not a greeting like “hello.” Dear is an adjective, a modifier of the name that follows. “Dear Abby” is no different from “My dearest Abby,” “Darling Clementine,” or some similarly old fashioned but enchantingly romantic greeting that has faded out of favor. (Who wants to bring it back with me? Anyone? … Anyone?…)

If you’re beginning a message with “Hi,” “Hello,” “Good morning,” “Hola,” or any other greeting, however, you should include a comma before the name of the message’s recipient. We learned about the vocative case in middle school (maybe), which directs writers to use a comma before a person’s name when they are being talked to.

Throw me the ball, Peyton.

Hi, Mr. Manning.

It’s the same form.

Lazy punctuation has become pretty widespread on this one, though. Do you use commas correctly in your greetings?

Writing Tip 85: Avoid the Blackout Comma

I’ll admit it: I’m an Oxford comma groupie. But there’s a methodology to my comma zealotry. There’s a difference between correctly comma-ing and looking like you may have had too much to drink. (And yes, “comma-ing” is a word. I just made it up, but I’m claiming artistic license.)

In my book (i.e., my opinion, not my actual book), there is pocket dialing, drunk texting, and what I dub “the blackout comma.” Why are they there? What is the logic? It’s a mystery that only the writer once knew. And they may not remember now.

Comma reminders:

Do not use commas with lists of two.
Do not use commas between subject and predicate
Do not use commas around “essential people”
Do not use commas between adjectives of size and/or color

Sure, we all slip and have one comma too many on occasion. It happens to the best of us. I just feel like I’ve seen a lot of intoxication lately. Maybe it’s just the season for beers at backyard barbecues and tropical drinks at the beach. Consider me your punctuation sponsor. It’s all about moderation, people.

Writing Tip 83: Where to Use Semicolons (a.k.a. “This Semi-colon Kind of Life”)

I want something else
To get me through this
Semicolon kinda life
Baby, Baby…

I’m thinking my version works—a “Schoolhouse Rocks” for ‘90s kids or the ‘90s nostalgic. I figure we need something new. No one seems to know how to use semicolons. They’re the misused and abused punctuation mark, thrown down without much thought. But they should have some dignity.

Semicolons should only be used in three situations:

Separating complete sentences. Always make sure that you have complete sentences on both sides of the semicolon here. You can combine two or more complete sentences in this way; there’s no real limit. (e.g., Third Eye Blind was a ‘90s standard; I never realized that song talked about doing meth; you’re looking up the lyrics now, aren’t you?)
Separating items in a complicated list. The definition of a complicated list is any list that has commas within it. (e.g., Some of the biggest Third Eye Blind songs that come to mind include Semi-charmed Kind of Life, released in 1997; Jumper, released in 1997; and How’s It Going To Be, also released in 1997.)
Winky faces 😉

Please stop using them where dashes or simply commas make more sense.

Doo doo doo, doo doo-doo doo…

Darn it, now that song’s in my head. Anyone else?

Writing Tip 77: Writing about Decades (Apostrophes?)

The apostrophe. It’s the super size me of punctuation marks. Who would want just a plain word when you could add an apostrophe with that, right? Let’s talk about our over-punctuating, America. We’re getting grammatically obese, and it doesn’t make any sense.

Sure, we’ve talked about unnecessary punctuation with “its, ” “you’re,” plural names, and probably more I can’t think of. Today, let’s focus on referencing decades.

The 1980s is the span of years from 1980 – 1989. It you want to abbreviate it, call it the ’80s. There is no possessive apostrophe “s.” The 1980’s is just weird and nonsensical. The 80’s is just confused. Please stop writing that.

I am a child of the 1980s. The 1990s were my coming-of-age years. Maybe the super-size-me culture started before my time, but it’s the 2010s now. Let’s decline the extra punctuation. Tasty as it may be, it’s just not good for you.

Writing Tip 72: The em dash vs. the en dash (a.k.a. “Dashing through the… no”)

Back by popular demand, let’s continue our conversation about hyphens and dashes. Oh, you know you’re excited. I was, anyhow, when last week’s blog prompted multiple requests for more.

Did you know that there are multiple lengths of dashes and different uses for these lengths? There are three basic marks to be aware of:

The hyphen (-),
The en dash (–), and
The em dash (—)

I know, I just blew your mind.

Writing Tip 71: “#-year-old” vs. “# year old” (a.k.a. “What’s up with the hyphens?”)

Remembering how old you are is one thing. Remembering where to put (or not put) the hyphens when you describe your age is another.

A thirty-one-year-old woman should be able to write grammatically. I am thirty-one years old. A thirty-one-year-old is old enough to know better.

Did you see those hyphens (or lack thereof)? They’re all correct. Do you know why?

Here’s the reminder: if the age is being used as an adjective or as a noun (as it is in my first and third examples), use hyphens; if the age is part of the adjective phrase following the noun (as it is in my second example), don’t use hyphens. Got it?

When a child is two years old, he or she doesn’t care about grammar. Maybe a ninety-year-old still doesn’t. Either way, knowing the rule doesn’t hurt, right?

Writing Tip 67: Commas with Essential vs. Non-essential People

The delineation of people into essential versus non-essential categories – it sounds a bit like something out of a John Hughes flick, doesn’t it? But I’m not talking social strata. I’m talking commas. Take that, Claire Standish.

Have you ever wondered why sometimes writers surround appositives with commas and sometimes they don’t? Let me rephrase that. Have you ever started reading a blog and then come across the word “appositives” and then debated whether you should keep reading because you a) didn’t know what it meant and/or b) started feeling a grammar-induced yawn coming on?

Stay with me. This is a helpful one.

Writing Tip 63: Possessive Form of Names Ending in “s”

All the way back in Writing Tip #14, we talked about the incorrect use of apostrophes in surnames, when attempting to refer to multiple members of the family (i.e. “the Baileys” not “the Bailey’s”), but this subject of apostrophes with names deserves a revisit. Admittedly, there’s contention on this one—and we all know to stay away from fanatical grammarians when things get heated—however, I tend to agree with the Chicago Manual of Style when it comes to making names that end in “s” possessive.

As we learned early on in our grammar training, when a singular noun becomes possessive, we add an apostrophe “s” onto the end:

The man’s phone

The book’s title

Names are no different.* Yes, even when they end in “s”:

Kris’s blog

Thomas’s Bagels

Because plural nouns only gain an apostrophe when they become possessive, often people just add the apostrophe to names ending in “s” in the same form. Yet say one of the above phrases aloud. You’re adding the extra “s” in your head, aren’t you? This is the corporate conundrum of “Thomas’ [sic] Bagels.” The company pronounces it with the extra “s” but leaves it out in the spelling. Oh, watch the grammarians squirm over their breakfast plates!

*I hate when rules have exceptions, but there are two to note here: Jesus and Moses. Why? I have no idea other than a guess that people don’t like to call out flaws in a sacred text. Nevertheless, when you see reference to “Jesus’ words” or “Moses’ staff,” no need to call the Pope.